After Shock

It hit me today like a ton of bricks. I had an awareness. I don't really want to go into it but wow. I through and through am in love with my best friend.
When I think of him my heart swells with emotion, indeed. But it's much deeper than that. I feel lost and torn when he isn't around as he is my twin soul. I get a lump in my throat sometimes with emotions I do not yet understand. I find myself doing things with him in mind. I think of him often through out the day. He encompasses many of my thoughts.
I admire and adore this man.
He puts a twinkle in my eye.
SJ

Meeting

Well I came clean with child support today. I had to turn in papers cuz I applied for medicaid. I flat out told them that I was in a domestic violent relationship and that my son is from that relationship. I let the lady know that my x-husband signed the birth certificate so that if something happened to me the jerk I was with couldn't hurt him. You figure if this ass was holding guns to my head and threatening to kill me and staking me....what do you think he would do to a disabled child?!?!?!?!!! So I had to fill out a second set of papers listing the jerk as his father. I guess there's a form they have you fill out to keep your information confidential while they pursue child support, in a situation like this. I'm doing my best to not be terrified of him finding me and made the call to go to a support group for this kind of thing.
So here's to maintaining optimism...lol
SJ